A spider was granted a wish by a witch, the wish was to be human and to smile, the wish came true however he was not entirely human, and those whose eyes set upon his mutations and deformities would scream or become repulsed by them. He quickly hid away from prying eyes, working as an undertaker. though with time, work was unknown and his money decreased.
One day a vampire baron came in, a glass cross held to his chest rendering him unconscious. undertaker had never seen such a strange human, the people who brought in the baron demanded he be buried very deep and with the cross untouched, however once they had left he saw the burns on the barons hands from the cross and took the cross away almost immediately after the vampire woke, he did not hide from undertakers appearance, instead he embraced him, calling him a hero, even crying into his suit. The next week on the same day the village people came to his small house with money they had collected together as a thank you to him, this made the spider smile, and they say he kept smiling.
This story would be hard to put into a comic in this format as well as the end of the story, sounds like it is being narrated. to change this I will need to work out the starting point for example how the spider got to the witch . there also needs the middle point where it seems more dramatic as that is how stories are usually written, usually start with a pleasant beginning something goes wrong something yet worse an and then something gets better at the ending.
One day a vampire baron came in, a glass cross held to his chest rendering him unconscious. undertaker had never seen such a strange human, the people who brought in the baron demanded he be buried very deep and with the cross untouched, however once they had left he saw the burns on the barons hands from the cross and took the cross away almost immediately after the vampire woke, he did not hide from undertakers appearance, instead he embraced him, calling him a hero, even crying into his suit. The next week on the same day the village people came to his small house with money they had collected together as a thank you to him, this made the spider smile, and they say he kept smiling.
This story would be hard to put into a comic in this format as well as the end of the story, sounds like it is being narrated. to change this I will need to work out the starting point for example how the spider got to the witch . there also needs the middle point where it seems more dramatic as that is how stories are usually written, usually start with a pleasant beginning something goes wrong something yet worse an and then something gets better at the ending.
Changed to;
The
story starts off with a spider with two legs clinging to a rose, a witch saw
him and smirked wickedly before asking what he thought he was doing, he replied
quickly with 'I wish to be human and to know what it is like to smile' the
witch scoffed at the request trying to shake him off the rose.
The
Witch chuckles at his determination and granted his wish however he was not
entirely human; his lower half was still that of a spider and restricted his
movements. The witch then told him that he must work for her as an undertaker
until he smiles or shows how brave he can be.
One
day a woman woke at the undertaker’s house, blind and completely confused where
she was, Undertaker had been tasked with looking after her until she is fit to
leave or just whenever she will leave his home. The woman was a chatter
box and talked on and on about little things undertaker couldn't
understand, she gave him a nickname because 'undertaker was too serious’, she
gave emotions to the plant by his side as if it were human even though she
could not see it. He asked how she was happy, she tells him that she knows the
witch is kind and will one day she will be able to see, Undertaker asks what it
means to be kind and she replied with ‘Its to make those around you happy, and
to smile’ Undertaker looked wishful her words be true.
But
after a while his serious side melted away when Gloria began emotionally
revealing her dreams to him, she wishes to be a florist, undertaker likes
plants, he glanced to the flower at his side remembering the day his wish
was granted, he wasn't crying, but then again he had never felt so strongly
about anything, but yet this woman, who does not even know what the flower
looks like, has already given it more than he had, it moved him in a way that
he called upon the witch while Gloria was sleeping, he asked for yet another
wish, to give Gloria his sight. The Witch cackled at his request but did not
refuse, before his vision faded he saw a glimpse of himself, he had human
legs, the brave request of helping someone he only just met broke her spell and
he was free. He woke Gloria who began to cry when she saw his face and hugged
him tightly 'stupid!' she shouted 'why would you do this?’ Undertaker was
confused 'are you angry?' he asked 'yes of course I’m mad! What are you going
to do now?' Undertaker just shrugged... 'Can you describe the flower to me
now?' Gloria looked at the flower on the desk and nods; the last page is
undertakers face smiling softly.
The Witch chuckles at his determination and granted his wish however he was not entirely human, he was not entirely human, his lower half was still that of a spider and restricted his movements. The witch then told him that he must work for her as an undertaker as to not scare people as well as telling him that he must complete every job before it leaves the door or the spell would break.
One day a woman was brought in while undertaker was trimming his own roses that were growing on the side of his counter. At first the undertaker was sceptical of her still warm brown skin, and soon realised the woman was alive, he argued with himself, it was not right to prepare this woman for burial just so he could remain human though he did not want to upset the witch. he waited till the next day convincing himself that one day would be enough, it was. The woman awoke to see him and she was very shocked, but not at him, at how she had ended up here. They began to talk to work things out, he learns she is a florist who was having a big problem with ants and aphids, and she finds out about his spell and how lost he would be with out the job. The woman asks why he would want to stay this way if he could not do what he wanted, the undertaker looked at the rose then back at the woman and he just said 'I don't want to be scared any more' the woman smiled warmly and said 'humans get scared too' she leans over and kisses his cheek, he touches his cheek lightly smiling, he says goodbye to her and as she leaves she sees the light of him turning back to a spider and walks back inside, picking up the rose in its pot and walking home with it, little undertaker holding onto its petals. 'your hired' will be the last page.
its a story of a reaper who fell in love with a human, and when she died she begged to continue living, he bargained with her that he would give her his heart so the next time she dies he could have her soul so they could be together forever. however, the girl soon fell in love with an angel who gave her immortality so the reaper could never have her soul
Changed to;
A reaper is in love with a human, and one day she gets into an accident and pleads with him to let her live, the reaper then offers her his heart in return she would stay with him after death, she accepts. However, he soon learns about an angel visiting her from the girls family who he frequently hides with when he needs peace, he began to get nervous and jealous, fearing one day the angel would make her immortal, keeping her forever out of his reach.
He visits the girl in the night and tells the girl all he had been feeling, she put a finger to his pale lips to make him be quiet and simply said 'You are the Angel'.
The reaper had been so wrapped up in his own jealousy he failed to realise how much time they had spent together and cried.
I do not think I will be continuing with the story, because it would be too easy to portray as well as it being too boring to read, not in the sense that nothing is happening but more of a sense that it would feel dragged and other than drama in the middle nothing else really happens as well as the witch would have no part in it, breaking the consistent chain within my comic series.
Changed to;
A reaper is in love with a human, and one day she gets into an accident and pleads with him to let her live, the reaper then offers her his heart in return she would stay with him after death, she accepts. However, he soon learns about an angel visiting her from the girls family who he frequently hides with when he needs peace, he began to get nervous and jealous, fearing one day the angel would make her immortal, keeping her forever out of his reach.
He visits the girl in the night and tells the girl all he had been feeling, she put a finger to his pale lips to make him be quiet and simply said 'You are the Angel'.
The reaper had been so wrapped up in his own jealousy he failed to realise how much time they had spent together and cried.
I do not think I will be continuing with the story, because it would be too easy to portray as well as it being too boring to read, not in the sense that nothing is happening but more of a sense that it would feel dragged and other than drama in the middle nothing else really happens as well as the witch would have no part in it, breaking the consistent chain within my comic series.
its about a vampire who could turn into a snake, it is said to lure its prey in with honeyed words and promise of more before eating them whole, changing its voice or clothes to then suit the last victims. However its only weakness being True loves kiss, as they believe they are the scariest, a kiss would leave them stunned
Changed to;
Follows the story of a woman who wanted to become a model, but because of a little mix up with papers she could not get a place. To take her mind of the stress she goes to a near by bar in an attempt to drowned her sorrows but meets a man who is equally has upset
Changed to;
Follows the story of a woman who wanted to become a model, but because of a little mix up with papers she could not get a place. To take her mind of the stress she goes to a near by bar in an attempt to drowned her sorrows but meets a man who is equally has upset
After a group of woodcutters mysteriously vanish, another group goes to investigate, but end up attacked by a monster. People who are bitten or who harm the creature are infected by a disease that turns them into trees, leaving one and an infected friend to solve the mystery. They find out that the trees that the woodcutters had been cutting down were a sort of nest for the creature and it had been on the defence since the nest was covered by fallen trees leaving a single egg left which they try to move deep into the woods, the infected friends hardening skin was breaking way as he ran but eventually made it to the middle with the healthy one, they great each other only to find out the healthy friend is fatally injured, they embrace each other till the end and the infected one caccoons his friend within his bark and they both protect the egg passed their death and no more lives were taken
The story is dramatic, and I think it has a lot of potential, but it seems a little too complicated for my comic which isn't necessarily a bad thing, however I do want to change quite a bit of the story so they will link more to what leads the witch to make these monsters and/or why her wishes are thrown so easily.
-edit-
A hunter complains to the witch that his forest was being cut down and wishes that the woodcutters would leave or that the trees would grow faster, the witch contemplates his wish and soon comes to the thought that her presence would be known to the world if her trees were gone and so granted his wish; by turning him into a small monster which excreted a slime which would slowly turn humans to trees. The next day woodcutters came to cut down more trees they got attacked by the mouse
I asked for a friend's opinion and what they gave me ways a new idea, instead of the mouse been something that is already there, it should be one of the witches wishes that she granted so nicely.
Changed to;
A man comes to buy a witches house so that his village could grow in size, however the witch refused to sell. The man did not take this well but the witch just sighed and dismissed him. The man left but once he was back at the village he planned to hire a team of woodcutters to make swift work of the thick forest around the witches house, however his son was becoming jealous of his fathers attention being entirely on the witch and the forest.
He then sneaks out of the house to visit the witch, asking for her to help him, she mutters about being too nice and says she will grant him one wish if he would help her stop his father, the boy agreed and said that his wish was to become a
There is a page where an axe touches the bark of the tree
The man's wife runs up to him, tears streaming down her face and tells him his daughter had vanished. He was enraged and told the villagers that the witch was going to steal everyones children and they all began to storm to the forest when they heard loud crashes from behind them, a monster was tearing apart their town, the man tried to rally the villagers to go after the witch to get his daughter back but the villagers ran back to defend their homes.
The man was about to fatally wound the monster when he saw a necklace on its neck that belonged to his daughter, he bursts into tears cursing and shouting
Story inspired by the Joke
what is a sheep without legs called?
a cloud
The story is dramatic, and I think it has a lot of potential, but it seems a little too complicated for my comic which isn't necessarily a bad thing, however I do want to change quite a bit of the story so they will link more to what leads the witch to make these monsters and/or why her wishes are thrown so easily.
-edit-
A hunter complains to the witch that his forest was being cut down and wishes that the woodcutters would leave or that the trees would grow faster, the witch contemplates his wish and soon comes to the thought that her presence would be known to the world if her trees were gone and so granted his wish; by turning him into a small monster which excreted a slime which would slowly turn humans to trees. The next day woodcutters came to cut down more trees they got attacked by the mouse
I asked for a friend's opinion and what they gave me ways a new idea, instead of the mouse been something that is already there, it should be one of the witches wishes that she granted so nicely.
Changed to;
A man comes to buy a witches house so that his village could grow in size, however the witch refused to sell. The man did not take this well but the witch just sighed and dismissed him. The man left but once he was back at the village he planned to hire a team of woodcutters to make swift work of the thick forest around the witches house, however his son was becoming jealous of his fathers attention being entirely on the witch and the forest.
He then sneaks out of the house to visit the witch, asking for her to help him, she mutters about being too nice and says she will grant him one wish if he would help her stop his father, the boy agreed and said that his wish was to become a
There is a page where an axe touches the bark of the tree
The man's wife runs up to him, tears streaming down her face and tells him his daughter had vanished. He was enraged and told the villagers that the witch was going to steal everyones children and they all began to storm to the forest when they heard loud crashes from behind them, a monster was tearing apart their town, the man tried to rally the villagers to go after the witch to get his daughter back but the villagers ran back to defend their homes.
The man was about to fatally wound the monster when he saw a necklace on its neck that belonged to his daughter, he bursts into tears cursing and shouting
Story inspired by the Joke
what is a sheep without legs called?
a cloud
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